- A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
- Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
- I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
- I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
- In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.
- Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.