Saturday, August 11, 2007

**QUOTES**: Woody Allen

Category: Movie Director
Date of Birth: December 1, 1935
Nationality: American

  • And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
  • Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
  • How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
  • I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
  • I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
  • I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
  • I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
  • I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
  • I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
  • I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
  • I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
  • I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
  • If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
  • If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
  • If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
  • In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  • Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
  • It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
  • Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
  • Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
  • Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
  • The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
  • The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

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